To all the women facing postpartum depression: I hear you, I understand you, and I am you.
As an OB-GYN, I was well aware of the signs of PPD. Yet, despite my medical knowledge, I still grappled with feelings of shame, convinced that my struggles meant I wasn’t a good mother. I remember feeling trapped in a dark place where the joys I once cherished faded away. Activities like running and yoga, which I used to love, became impossible. I struggled to connect with my newborn; every cry from him felt like a personal failure, drawing tears from me instead of comfort.
At first, I dismissed my feelings as mere stress, fatigue, or the challenges of breastfeeding. However, as the days turned into weeks, I realized I had to take action. My husband and a few close friends became my lifeline. It wasn’t until I opened up about my true emotions that they understood the depth of my struggle.
Postpartum depression affects 1 in 9 women, transcending race and socioeconomic status. Before my own experience, I didn’t know anyone who had faced this, or so I thought. After sharing with friends, I discovered many had their own battles and had sought help, unbeknownst to me. I felt a pang of regret for not being there to support them. It’s an intensely personal journey, but it shouldn’t come with guilt or shame.
Even as a physician trained to recognize PPD in my patients, I felt embarrassed and worried about being judged. I thought I should be able to handle it alone, but that was far from the truth. When I finally began sharing my experiences with others, I started to heal. If you’re facing postpartum depression or anxiety, my advice—both as a mother and a doctor—is to reach out. Talk to a therapist, your OB-GYN, friends, or a partner about how you feel. Documenting your journey in a journal can be therapeutic, too. And remember, it’s okay to cry. You’re not a lesser mother or woman because you’re struggling.
During my battle with PPD, I reached out to my husband, family, friends, and my OB-GYN. I also spoke with a therapist, which allowed me to redefine my expectations of motherhood. I learned that the idealized version of motherhood I had envisioned was just that—a fantasy. There will be ups and downs, and that’s perfectly normal. For more insights on the emotional aspects of motherhood, check out this post on Modern Family Blog.
In conclusion, postpartum depression is a challenging and often isolating experience. But remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Seeking help is not only brave; it is essential for your well-being.
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