Confessional: Feeling Jealous of My Husband’s Ex-Wife

You know your husband chose you for a reason, but sometimes, you can’t shake that nagging jealousy over his ex-wife. Jealousy is such a common—albeit inconvenient—emotion. We all have pasts, and while we know our partners do too, accepting that can be tough.

If your partner was married before, it can be hard to ignore that history, particularly if kids are involved. That green-eyed monster can rear its head for all sorts of reasons: maybe you’re envious because she had the chance to be a stay-at-home mom while you juggle work and daycare costs due to his financial obligations to her. Or perhaps you’re just frustrated that she doesn’t have to deal with his quirks anymore!

If you’re feeling that jealousy creeping in, trust me—you’re not alone.

Here’s a snippet from a confessional: “I’m really upset that my husband’s ex-wife got to be a stay-at-home mom while I’m working overtime and paying for daycare.” It’s a relatable sentiment, especially when it feels like you’re the one carrying the burden.

Or consider another confession: “I found my husband’s old wedding photos with his ex stashed away. I ripped them up and tossed them, making sure my stepchild didn’t see.” While that might feel satisfying in the moment, it’s probably not the best approach to handle those feelings.

Let’s be real—sometimes you might even feel like you’re competing with her for love. “He will never love me as much as he loved his ex,” one person lamented after two years of marriage. It can feel exhausting when you see how much power his ex still seems to have over him, especially during family gatherings.

And then there are those little reminders, like when his family accidentally calls you by her name. “I’ve been married to him for 20 years, and it still happens!” It’s like rubbing salt in the wound.

We all know that your husband had a life before you, but sometimes those reminders—like a tattoo of her name or old photos—can be hard to swallow. If you’re curious about navigating these feelings, check out some helpful resources like this article on intrauterine insemination for more on family planning.

And hey, if you’re thinking about starting your own family, consider joining the Make a Mom community for support, or check out their home insemination kits to get started on your journey. You can also find a free sperm donor matching group on Facebook if that’s something you’re considering.

Remember, the struggle with jealousy is real, but you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way.