I’m a new mom, and I’ve found myself grappling with postpartum depression. There are several factors that I believe contributed to this experience. To start, I have a history of anxiety and depression, having dealt with social anxiety in the past. During my pregnancy, I had a nagging worry that I might face postpartum challenges, but I kept this concern to myself. In retrospect, that wasn’t the wisest choice.
Another significant factor was the bed rest I was prescribed due to rising blood pressure. My doctor advised me to stop working three weeks earlier than I had planned. While it wasn’t strict bed rest, it still felt restrictive—especially for someone like me who finds it hard to sit still. Those three weeks were particularly challenging.
When my son, Ethan, arrived, I found myself at home for another six weeks—nine weeks total of limited activity! We had plenty of visitors at first, but as time went on, the visits dwindled. I started to notice that I was crying more often. Sometimes, when Ethan cried, it would send me into tears too. I would snap at my partner for little things, and I felt guilty for my feelings. I secretly wished someone would come over and help, as I felt overwhelmed.
I knew I should reach out to my doctor, but admitting that I wasn’t happy felt daunting. I had this beautiful baby, a miracle we conceived through IVF, and I thought no one would understand why I felt anything less than joyful.
Returning to work brought a significant change for me. I felt productive and useful again. While being a mom is rewarding, I hadn’t felt that sense of purpose while at home. Although I missed Ethan when I was at work, the separation helped me appreciate our time together much more.
However, on my 30th birthday, the reality hit me that I wasn’t fully healed. I had organized a gathering with friends at our home, and while it went well, I realized I hadn’t truly enjoyed myself. I was merely going through the motions. I wasn’t excited about being the Matron of Honor at my best friend’s wedding, which was unusual for me. Sure, I smiled and laughed at Ethan’s milestones, but nothing else brought me joy.
After a good cry, I opened up to my partner about how I was feeling. He urged me to call my doctor the following Monday—or he would do it himself. Taking that step meant admitting my unhappiness, which was not easy, but I did it. The nurse I spoke with was supportive and understanding. She consulted with my doctor and called in a prescription for Zoloft.
Just knowing that I had the courage to reach out for help and that I had medication to support my recovery made me feel a little lighter. If you’re facing similar struggles, you’re not alone, and there are resources available to help, like Progyny for pregnancy and home insemination advice. You can also check out this insightful post on modernfamilyblog.com for more tips on navigating motherhood. And if you’re exploring at-home options, consider Make a Mom, the leading provider of at-home insemination kits in the world.
In summary, postpartum depression can creep in for various reasons, from personal history to the challenges of new motherhood. It’s essential to recognize when you’re struggling and to seek help. The journey can be tough, but with support and the right resources, it’s possible to find your way back to joy.
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